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NIGHTS: chivalry to villainous

Nights always used to be fascinating. Yes, nights are dark, but since she was a child she always fell in love with the nights, when the whole world would go calm. No matter where she was, she had fallen for nights, the darkness, the stars, the moon, the sound of birds, the time when the people had to not worry about rushing and doing the things we would do for life, the time when the world actually gets time for themselves. The breeze of the whimsical wind that would not just make her skin feel the chills, but also would make her heart skips a bit and she would never be happier than ever. This girl would wake up at night when everyone felt asleep just to take one glance of the stars and to see if the constellations are around. She liked the way how that little moon could brighten up the whole damn darkness around the world just with it's little spark on the full moon night. She would never let herself miss the full moon. Not just the moon and stars and constellation, she loved t
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Neither your words nor your thoughts affects me.

And then when you actually start to live your life after going through hell, you find people who say, " That girl is heartless, oh look her mother is dead and she seems to act as if nothing has happened" "it seems that she was bounded and now she has got the freedom to enjoy, she appears to be so happy" "it is such a shame that even though she lost her mother and she looks to be happy",  "maybe her mother never loved her or maybe she was not cared enough by her mother". I don't want to show anyone of you how much broken I am because I don't want any sympathy from anyone . People who actually know me know, know what I have been through and I don't think it's necessary to show everyone my wet pillows, endless tears, the frustation, the sleepless nights and many more because I know no one can ever realize the pain I am going through and your words,"stay strong" won't help me. You don't have to tell me
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Life is unpredictable

Life is an unpredictable journey; unpredictable but beautiful. We never know what comes next but when that beautiful journey is cut short by some extremely avoidable circumstances, it's absolutely gut wrenching. A small boil(also called a furuncle or 'Pilo' in Nepali) appeared on her left hand wrist which was treated in Om Hospital. She was taking antibiotics and the wound appeared to be healing. However, she got weaker and started suffering from sudden vomiting and fever. She was immediately taken to KMC Hospital on the 12th of June. The doctors, after the checkup, concluded the next morning that it was a case of gastritis as a result of the antibiotics she had been taking. She was advised to take some medicine for gastritis and to go for a follow up after a week. But the vomiting became even more prominent and she was rushed to the emergency ward in the hospital that very evening, ie around 6 PM on 13th June. The doctors kept telling us that the reports were normal and
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the first scare

It's exactly 1:30 A.M right now. I remember the exact same time, exactly a month ago. I was laying in the bed in the waiting room, in the third floor with so much of irrelevant thoughts, while I could feel my mother in the ICU in the first floor. It was the first time ever in my life, I was that scared. I was not scared that I am going to lose my mother forever. No,  I had no freaking idea about that, i never imagined or thought that but still my heart was beating faster than ever before, I could feel my heart as the heaviest thing that exist in the world that time. My mind was blank. It was not that I didn't saw my mother, I saw her exactly an hour ago when she was taken out from the ICU to the checkup, in the bed full of sline and oxygen bottle. She was surrounded by nurses and doctors, she was moving, not like she used to do, it was different this time. She was trying to escape, she was trying so hard to escape, don't know from what or from whom. She was acting like a li
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